Proactive Mindset Formation, Part 5 of 7

Hello again for the next 5th of 7 conversations on the Six Frames of the MettlEdge Mind, a proactive mindset to help you harness your high-octane brain and shape your strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging. We’re covered the first three frames. Let there be tension, let there be compassion, and let there be strength.

Today we’re diving into the reflection of the let there be strength frame, the fourth frame, let there be limits.

We all want to be loved and to make a difference. And many of us believe our limits limit our lovability and our value. I believe very few of us can separate ourselves from how others see us without an internal battle to not measure our value against another standard. Many of us hide our struggle. But, we are all affected by the words and actions of others and we humans respond to what we experience.

Relationships with people in positions of authority often carry a bigger weight of influence, like a parent. A coach. Regardless of the source, words matter.

 

Focus: What are you thinking about? Even, who are you thinking about?

 

To oversimplify things, people tend to respond to the feedback they receive from others in one of two ways. They lean into perfectionism or overconfidence. They strive to please and perform or feedback from others has little effect on them. 

The problem with perfectionism and overconfidence is that neither is where excellence meets endurance. What I mean by that is at some point, perfectionism becomes all-consuming, and overconfidence becomes underachievement. Both tendencies can cause leaders to get stuck.

Some focus so intently on their perceived weaknesses that they remain blind to their natural talents. Such perfectionism can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a constant sense of inadequacy. On the other hand, some dismiss constructive criticism and underestimate complexities, missing opportunities for growth and improvement. Such overconfidence can lead to stagnation and poor outcomes.

Both perspectives deny the value of accepting limits. Whether perfectionism or overconfidence, without a secure outlook that their uniqueness is their strength, high-achieving leaders will often engage their ability to manipulate and control, an environment to maintain an appearance of competence. Leaders who do this often do not really know what happens when they are not competent.

They don’t want to find out.

A powerful fear holds them hostage. And it likely has them hiding, holding back, or improperly harnessing some of the things they do well and sometimes working hard to do things they don’t really do well at all.

Fuel: In what ways do you relate? Without having to tell anyone about it, give yourself time to take a look at what limits might have you hiding, holding back or improperly harnessing with hope that you can somehow make the limit go away.

 

The powerful fear many experience is the fear that their uniqueness is not their strength, and their limits will limit them. Let me say it again, the fear is that their uniqueness is not their strength. They fear their limits will limit them when in fact, it is the fear that stops them from thriving in strength by convincing them to hide, doubt their worth, overperform, underperform, people please, wonder if people really knew them would they like them, and on and on. They want to be competent. They want to be loved. They want to make a difference.

And they are human.  Humans have limits. Competence is relative.

Do you want to keep up a performance, trying to be something you were never meant to be? Or do you want to thrive in your uniqueness, accepting and sharing the things you were made to do well and accepting and supporting the things you weren’t to thrive in your unique competence?

Do you want to believe your uniqueness is your strength?

You think, feel, and behave in your own way, different from others. It’s just true.

Let me tell you a story. If you’ve heard it before, let it sink in again.

In the 1950s a group of researches gave a group of high school students a baseline test in something they will likely not have had any previous training: speed reading. They were seeking answers to the question Donald Clifton asked himself that we discussed in our previous episode, “what would happen if we studied what was right in people instead of what was wrong with people?”

The results of this initial testing revealed two natural categories of students, those who read slower on average and those who read faster.

After providing the same speed-reading training to each student they retested them all. While the average readers improved their scores, the improvement was small compared to the improvements recorded by the students who read the fasted from the start. Their numbers increased from 300 words per minute in the baseline test to 2900 words per minute after receiving the training. (Clifton, D.O., & Harter, J.K., 2003) The students who were naturally fast readers from the beginning skyrocketed in their skills after investing in them. They improved by more than 800%.

These astounding results were not based on what the test administrators believed about them or on their desire to be or not be good at speed reading. When these students took this baseline test, some were naturally skilled in speed reading, some were not.

The same is universally true for each of us.

We are all naturally good at some things. And not at other things. Those things are not determined by what others think of us or by what we want.

And they don’t determine our value.

We are made to work together, serving one another with our unique, innate, and good strengths. Accepting we have limits sets us free to unleash our strength.

Let there be limits.

 

Fight: What do you think about accepting limits to unleash strength? In what ways do you want to accept your limits in order to unleash your strength today? To contribute to your team today?

 

What do you want to do in response?

When will you do it?

What do you need to do for yourself to remember to do it?

What difference will it make?

 

This has been episode five of our podcast series on proactive mindset formation walking through our model The MettlEdge Mind.

 

Up next in our “The Six Frames of a Proactive Mind” Series, Let There Be Conversation. In a world full of fast paced soundbites, communication convenience through text, email, and social media messaging, conversation is becoming a lost art. But humans aren’t going anywhere and we were made to connect. Tune in next week to think about the role conversation plays in your life and leadership.  

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If you would like to connect and experience some of the clarity and forward movement of professional coaching as I described on this episode,  you can go to my website, mettledge.com.

Click on enroll now to see our available 1:1 coaching memberships.  

Click on learn more to talk with us about our 6-month MettlEdge Mind Cohort.

I’ll say it again to close our time together today, I’m interested in the theory behind proactive mindset formation, but I’m way more interested in making the complex process of forming a proactive mindset accessible, doable, attainable—simple and approachable—even though it will always involve more nuance and incomprehensibility than we may be able to imagine or than we may prefer.

It’s why we all need to do more than talk about having a healthy, proactive mindset. To form our mind we have to think, feel, and take action to build the muscle memory we want to have and break the habits of thinking we no longer find useful in our lives.

I want to give you a way to do this for yourself in a powerful way, with 2 to 3 people you trust in our 6-month mettledge mind cohort.

If you want to learn more, schedule a call at mettledge.com or message us on Instagram, Mettledge.coaching

I pray this podcast has been a blessing to you! Let’s go!

 

References:
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/253754/history-cliftonstrengths.aspx#ite-254129