In the previous episode, I ended on the topic that we know that distancing ourselves from our feelings helps us process through them.  

And we can use this truth and others to train up our emotional intelligence, giving us an emotional maturity that willfully enters in before emotions hijack. We can use such training to choose to shift our emotional states or stay in them. If we know we have this choice, we’ll probably be more liable to welcome in our emotions and be more capable to appropriately respond to the messages they bring rather than stuffing them for fear of their potential power over us.

We have choice. We can choose calm, as the psalmist did. We can.

But to do so, we must desire to welcome and train our emotions to align with Christ, just as we work to align our logical minds with Him. To fully train our minds, we must train both the emotional and the logical parts of our brain, as our emotional and cognitive processes work together to guide our decisions and actions.

Remember, our emotions assign value to the choices we make.

If our emotions assign value and we aren’t feeling, we are not generating value propositions upon which we have choice. We must first, then, be aware we are feeling anything at all – this opens us up to choose based on the message being sent by the emotion. Emotions are messengers. I learned this from from Mike Davis. He is known as the Emotional Success Coach and I found him in my search to align my Christian faith with the practice of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP. NLP helps us learn the language of our minds and it was a taught to me in my coach certification training. I wasn’t sure whether to embrace NLP or run very far away as a Jesus follower. It can be used in what appear to be some pretty non-Christian ways. But it reveals our design. And God put that design in us. When I began looking for evidence of it’s use in the scriptures, it was there to be found. Of course, the name NLP is just another way to describe many ways we have modeled observable truth of our design for our uses. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Therapy(EMDR) are two others that take the observable truth about or design and put it to work to serve our growth. Therefore, I have come to conclude we are to use it. In fact, I have become compelled to share it, in light of our faith toward our joyful obedience to God.

This is another part to why I study and research and share about this today.

The Psalmist chooses it.

He has chosen to calm and quiet his soul.

It says clearly, “I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

What do you need that you don't already have to make the same choice? What do we need? The first thing we need is to believe we have this choice to make.

For some reason, it seems within the Christian church the idea that we can train up our emotions is less understood – and certainly less emphasized - than the idea that we can train up our minds.

We are familiar with Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

This passage encourages us to be in God’s word, study it, love it as psalms 119 says, and allow our cognitive selves to be changed. We are changed when spend time in the word.

Welcome to episode three of this 10-part Serenity in Motion podcast series called Resting In The Arms Of The One Who Disarmed You

This series is all about how we lead based on how we show up. Because how we show up sets up how and where we lead others, and ourselves.

It’s about showing up in a way that invites connection, optimizes performance and ushers in confidence and rest.

I want to say this at the start again this week, when working with MettlEdge in any of our coaching memberships, you get a neutral, unbiased, confidential and welcoming space to gain clarity, make decisions, move forward, and thrive. We are a group of professionally trained and credentialed coaches.

On this podcast, however, I will sometimes dive into my own values and beliefs, presenting faith content for thought. This happens to be one of those series…feel free to listen in, or tune in another time.

If you’re tuning in…let’s get into it

Welcome to episode two of this 10-part Serenity in Motion podcast series called Resting In The Arms Of The One Who Disarmed You

This series is all about how we lead based on how we show up. Because how we show up sets up how and where we lead others, and ourselves.

It’s about showing up in a way that invites connection, optimizes performance and ushers in confidence and rest.

As I said last week, it’s BOLD to show up that way. It’s bold to show up embodying the rest we are designed to have in Christ.

In this week’s episode I’m going to talk about the things we lose and the things we gain from change. I’m going to do something I haven’t done on any of the other Serenity in Motion podcasts, I’m going to walk through a passage from scripture where Jesus addresses rest, but in a way we might not immediately recognize.

Again, when working with MettlEdge in any of our coaching memberships, you get a neutral, unbiased, confidential and welcoming space to gain clarity, make decisions, move forward, and thrive. We are a group of professionally trained and credentialed coaches.

On this podcast, however, I will sometimes dive into my own values and beliefs, presenting faith content for thought. This happens to be one of those series…the first in fact.

Feel free to listen in, or tune in another time.

The scripture I’m discussing today is Luke 11:14-23:

Welcome to the Serenity in Motion podcast and this new 10-part series starting today called Resting In The Arms of the One Who Disarmed You.

It’s no secret that I am a Jesus follower. I wrote this podcast series in 2019. It’s about rest. Not about sleep, or relaxation.

Not meditation. But stillness. Peace. On the inside.

It’s really about how we lead based on how we show up. And I get to the heart of rest for me, which as a Jesus following person, has a lot to do with him.

Do feel free to skip over this series if a discussion on faith in Jesus is not something you prefer to listen to and think about.

In our MettlEdge coaching practice, we do not bring personal beliefs into a coaching conversation.

Doing so is not only unprofessional, it is unsafe, it is directive, it is biased.

MettlEdge is a group of professionally trained and credentialed strengths-driven and solution-focused coaches who have one job.

Through skilled conversation and powerful questions, our one job is to give our clients an unbiased, confidential, and welcoming space to gain clarity, make decisions, move forward, and thrive. We don’t tell people what to do. Or what to believe.

But this is not a coaching conversation, it’s a thought-provoking podcast where I talk about things that are intended to make people think.

It’s called Serenity in Motion, so I intend to talk about things that have to do with rest in the midst of chaos.

Welcome to the Serenity in Motion podcast and the last episode of the What Do You Meme? Series. A series that has been me talking about what I mean…or meme…when I say shape your own strong sense of self, belonging, and purpose.  

It was April 17, 2017 and I had just completed my professional coach training with Mina Brown and the Coach Academy International team in Dallas Texas. My head and my heart were full. I had been hit by a gushing fire hydrant of information, conversation, and practice. And today, as I was searching for a note I had jotted down in my phone about purpose...taht’s the topic of this last episode today. Shape a strong sense of purpose—but, as I was trying to find that note by searching all of my notes using the word purpose, a note from April 2017 popped up. I’m going to share it now. 

Welcome to the Serenity in Motion podcast.

I’m Jill Williams and we are on the third of four episodes in our current series “what do you meme?”.

I’m talking through what I mean…or meme…by a phrase I use to describe the kind of thing that happens for you when you enroll in our memberships. If you read the website, you’ll read something like this:

“MettlEdge is an online strengths-driven performance coaching company on mission to inspire women shaped by college sports to shape their own unique Edge so they thrive and lead others to do the same.”

First things first, you may be someone who’s thinking…I was not shaped by college sports. While what we call our posse is most definitely women who were college athletes, men and women who are coaching college athletes or supporting them on a coaching staff in some way, what we’re talking about by being shaped by college sports is that they pursue excellence at all costs. They want to win and they are willing to work for the win. Their mindset that has been shaped to tell them they should.

They push through barriers. They support the people around them with passion. They care.

And sometimes too much. Eventually life catches up and this pursuit they may or may not love becomes a burden and they need to regroup to design a way to keep going strong, with excellence in their new season of life.

This kind of thing is definitely not limited to people who were shaped by college sports. If you resonate with it, you are posse.

Hello again! Time for the second episode of our current series “what do you meme?”.

This time I’m going to share more about what I meme—or mean—by shaping a strong sense of self.

There is a lot that comes to mind when somebody says the word self.  I have no intention of getting into that deep well. I do not have a PhD in psychology, psychiatry, or even sociology.

I don’t have a PhD in anything.

I never worked in an HR department and certainly don’t have a degree and anything very people oriented, unless you count talking with them to understand a business process or application design requirement—which is much more effective with a little people first communication…there I go off topic…I studied management information systems. I was a computer programmer in my first job.

I’m definitely a systems thinker. I’m also a future oriented. Idealistic. Potential see-er.

I see potential in people I see potential in ideas I see potential in things.

The first house, my husband and I bought he was ready to walk out the door as soon as we stepped into it with our realtor. Let’s just say it was a sensory experience and not in the best of ways.

I was talking about the topic for the series this morning in the kitchen and my daughter gave me this title because I’m going to spend these next four weeks talking about what I mean by shaping a strong sense of self, belonging, and purpose. She immediately had the idea to call it what do you meme and showed me how I could create a meme for each episode….so that’s what I’m doing.

Bear with me.

I’ve never made a meme before.

I do hope this series gives you opportunity to think more about what it memes, I mean means, for you to be shaping your own strong sense of self, belonging, and purpose. And that order is on purpose.

Self, belonging, and purpose. We’ll get into each of these over the next three weeks. For now, let me get us started at the beginning and pave for us a foundation to build on.

I cannot believe we are here already, the final episode on the Six Frames of the MettlEdge Mind Podcast Series. The first of many podcast series for me and MettlEdge.

As I’ve presented, the MettlEdge Mind is a model to equip you with a proactive mindset to help you harness your high-octane brain and shape your strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging.

My name is Jill Williams and I’ve spent years trying to get my arms around the secret sauce of the skills and practice of professional coaching. I am admittedly obsessed with sharing what I’m learning and capturing it in the best model possible, one that is easily understood and compelling for others to personally apply.

The MettlEdge Mind model is today’s version of my understanding. It’s also been genius leadership, bring the rain, and keep climbing into greatness. I’m convinced that each version has been useful for personal and leadership growth, and I’m certain that I’ll want to make changes to the model for the rest of my life. However, I’m also aware that its time to stick to one way of talking about it.

So the Six Frames of the MettlEdge Mind are here to stay.  

Happy New Year and welcome to the second to last episode on the Six Frames of the MettlEdge Mind, a proactive mindset to help you harness your high-octane brain and shape your strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging.

My name is Jill Williams and over the past five weeks, I’ve covered the first four frames along with an introduction to my proactive mindset model, The MettlEdge Mind. Those frames are

1. Let there be tension

2. Let there be compassion

3. Let there be strength

4. Let there be limits.
   

Today we’re diving into the fifth frame of the MettlEdge Mind, let there be conversation.

Today we’re diving into the reflection of the let there be strength frame, the fourth frame, let there be limits.

We all want to be loved and to make a difference. And many of us believe our limits limit our lovability and our value. I believe very few of us can separate ourselves from how others see us without an internal battle to not measure our value against another standard. Many of us hide our struggle. But, we are all affected by the words and actions of others and we humans respond to what we experience.

Relationships with people in positions of authority often carry a bigger weight of influence, like a parent. A coach. Regardless of the source, words matter.

Today we’re diving into the third frame of the MettlEdge Mind, let there be strength.

As a reminder, The MettlEdge Mind is a model that helps you harness your high-octane brain to take control of your time, tension, tone, talents, tasks, teamwork, and emotional turbulence to shape a strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging—what I call your MettlEdge.

You do this by putting your thinking into the service of your emotions. I’ve already covered the first two in previous episodes, let there be tension and let there be compassion.

Today I’m going to talk about talents.

Times have changed. The standard for effective leadership has changed. We are living with a generation of people who no longer put up with task-driven, results-only authoritarian leadership. We live in a generation of people who demand to be acknowledged. Technology in part drives this demand. Likes. Follows. Go live. Go viral. Get seen. Get paid. Playing fields are leveled. Access points to gaining a platform for your thoughts and ideas are easy to access. Um. Here’s me on a podcast talking to you.

And yet, it’s funny. This need for acknowledgement and affirmation generation busted down a very thick wall that has been keeping people isolated from personal growth and better leadership for generations. It busted down the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps barrier. It shattered the showing-weakness-is-weak screen.  Technology can arguably be blamed for the demand for compassionate leadership.

But what does compassionate leadership mean? Why was the wall built up to shame it so strong? Do you want to lead with more compassion? Maybe you lead with too much.

That’s just an idea of what we’re going to think, feel, and take action on in this episode of the Six Frames of the MettlEdge Mind Podcast series.  

Let there be compassion.

While you cannot control the disturbances or distractions that come at you daily, you can control your response to them. This is the outcome of a proactive mindset. A proactive mindset positions you to pre-decide you will be open to creatively find a way to keep growing in the face of tension.

Remember, to keep growing, or to mature, requires two things of us.

It requires that we individuate and relate. The kind of proactive mindset formation I’m talking about is one that empowers you to do these two things.

And while I’m interested in the theory behind proactive mindset formation, I’m way more interested in making the complex process of forming a proactive mindset accessible, doable, attainable—simple and approachable—even though it will always involve more nuance and incomprehensibility than we may be able to image or than we may prefer.

It is this interest that has driven me to create the model I’m sharing with you.

Do you ever wonder why it can be so difficult to do the things you want to do, even when you are aware they are the things you want? Yet you still struggle to do them? How many times have you given up on an idea? On yourself? On becoming the everything you were made to be?

Maybe you started going after a goal and didn’t tell anyone so no one would know just how much effort you put in when you didn’t get it done. Maybe you hid how much effort it took you to get it done.

Or maybe you choose to do the things that are easier to get done, so you don’t get to some things you really want that will require more effort. Effort you can’t be certain will be worth it. Effort you can’t be certain you’ll have the capacity to sustain. Effort you wake up in the middle of the night wishing you had invested in making years ago, but when you wake up in the morning, you don’t know how to start, so you don’t.

It takes effort to pave a path for yourself. It takes effort to make the most of opportunity. It takes effort to make the most of your life.

Hi, I’m Jill Williams, founder and president of MettlEdge, avid stillness advocate, and creator of The MettlEdge Mind: Coaching your high-octane brain to take control of your time, tension, tone, talents, tasks, teamwork, and emotional turbulence to shape a strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging.

The MettlEdge Podcast exists to help women shaped by college sports shape their own strong sense of self, purpose, and belonging--what we call their MettlEdge.

To be shaped by college sports means you carry with you a mentality that says whatever you are doing, you can work hard enough at it to improve your performance in that area. You will put in the work to do all the things with excellence for the win. So, you often do everything—to get the win.

The thing is, you were not made to do everything. Doing everything is leaving many women in coaching and former athletes are burned out, discouraged, and alone.