S3:E6 BIBLICAL OR NOT? EMOTIONS AND THE SPIRT OF SELF-CONTROL
Resting in the arms of the one who disarmed you
BIBLICAL OR NOT? EMOTIONS AND THE SPIRT OF SELF-CONTROL
I’m back! A day late, but back to the weekly posting routine.
In the previous episode, I ended on the topic that we know that distancing ourselves from our feelings helps us process through them.
And we can use this truth and others to train up our emotional intelligence, giving us an emotional maturity that willfully enters in before emotions hijack. We can use such training to choose to shift our emotional states or stay in them. If we know we have this choice, we’ll probably be more liable to welcome in our emotions and be more capable to appropriately respond to the messages they bring rather than stuffing them for fear of their potential power over us.
We have choice. We can choose calm, as the psalmist did. We can.
But to do so, we must desire to welcome and train our emotions to align with Christ, just as we work to align our logical minds with Him. To fully train our minds, we must train both the emotional and the logical parts of our brain, as our emotional and cognitive processes work together to guide our decisions and actions.
Remember, our emotions assign value to the choices we make.
And as we allow ourselves to feel, I want to help us uncover the biblical truth behind our emotions and the biblical choice we have to use them as allies. Is it biblical toyou’re your emotions as your ally in your pursuit of your desire to know and obey God?
I remember the first time someone told me to feel. I looked her in the eye and said, “if I let myself feel, how will I be able to still be a wife and mother and handle all the things. I’ll fall apart.”
Now Focus for a moment: What are you thinking about right now?
Let’s turn again to the Scriptures where in 2 Timothy 1:7 Paul tells Timothy:
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
With these 16 words Paul normalizes the reality of the spirit God gives to each of saints.
He informs us that God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-control, helping us recognize it as a shared reality among the saints.
With these words Paul also acknowledges fear as a common obstacle to each of us.
In doing so, he normalizes fear as a part of the human experience, helping us recognize it as a shared reality.
Let’s take a moment and discuss again a concept introduced to me by one of my favorite gurus of design, Bob Norman, in his book “The Design of Everyday Things”.
He’s talking about the design of a kitchen appliance and describes what he terms the "conspiracy of silence" (p. 61) to explain a common phenomenon that occurs when many people struggle with the same issue involving a new product or device and each individual believes the problem lies with them, not the design of the product or device.
He explains, “Because everyone perceives the fault to be his or her own, nobody wants to admit to having trouble. This creates a conspiracy of silence, where feelings of guilt and helplessness are kept hidden.” (p. 61)
The silence reinforces the acceptance—and continuation—of poor design.
What’s the connection for us? How does this resonate within me, you ask?
Well, God has given us a source of power, love, and self-control, a spirit within us in not one of fear. But clearly we struggle with fear. We face it. And we often want to keep or struggle with it silent.
Just as the conspiracy of silence around poor product design perpetuates poor design, we do the same with uncomfortable emotions, like fear. We think the flaw lies within us, we should not feel this. But it’s common to man. Caused by sin. Of which no man but Jesus was ever immune.
And in remaining silent, we reinforce the acceptance—and continuation—of the lie that that humans should be better, that we can live without fear, as if anyone can. If we could, why did God have to give us a spirit to combat it with power and love and self-control?
Just like in the device, there is a flaw in us humans. Just like with the device thinking the problem lies within me alone makes me hide.
But God redeemed it. Restoring you. And restoring me.
If we allow the conspiracy of silence to win, we miss out on the phenomenon that happens when we accept—and continue on—the journey we have set before us, one not hindered by fear, one where fear’s power is stripped from it, because we choose instead to yield to the truth of the power of the spirit of God within us.
We all experience fear.
I can’t help but wonder to what extent we all contribute to the conspiracy of silence, perpetuating the acceptance of the lie that fear is to be, well feare. That if we talk about our fears we would be exposing ourselves, rather than acknowledging that which is common to man.
Just a thought.
Let’s talk openly and mute the power of silence, exposing faulty understanding of our human design and embracing the truth.
Fuel: How, if at all, do you see the conspiracy of silence at work in your life? Consider what might happen if you begin to talk with one safe person about your fears. What might happen if you continue to remain silent?
It can feel safer to continue in silence without confidence that we will be able to handle all the things if we allow ourselves to feel and unplug the numbing, distracting, and ignoring.
To that end, let’s look specifically at the Biblical nature of one who has placed her trust in God by believing the blood of Jesus took the penalty for her sin, rendering her righteous, not by her own works, but by the work of Jesus on the cross.
Rendering her dead to the sin within her and alive in Christ—alive in that spirit given to her by God. Though the sin still makes her susceptible to fear and capable of all kinds of ungodly thoughts and desires, it has been defeated. The spirit resides in her giving her power and love and self-control over it.
The spirit is making her new. When Christ returns, the sin will finally be destroyed.
Through the spirit, she can exercise self-control.
The Greek word for self-control in this sentence is a word not used in any other verse of the scriptures. That’s amazing to me. It’s the word is sóphronismos (so-fron-is-mos').
Sophronismos is a noun derived from the Greek word meaning "sound, safe" and "inner outlook". (Biblestudytools.com)
It signifies safe-minded, sensible behavior that "fits" a situation. (https://biblehub.com/greek/4995.htm)
This word informs us that we have the power within us, our “inner outlook”, to regulate our outward behavior sensibly, fitting to any number of different situations.
Because “[t]he mind is more difficult to comprehend than actions.” (Norman), we often want to change our behaviors before we change our beliefs.
But, the word self-control, sophronismos, implies a necessary connection between our inner reasoning and feeling self and our outward behavior.
According to the scriptures, we are capable of regulating our behavior through the spirit of self-control given to us by God. Therefore, we must have the capability to access those inner reasoning parts, setting them toward our obedience, rather than against it.
But how?
It is more complex than I’ll ever fully understand, but open up your willingness with me to train up your ability to do so. To have such a willingness requires that you recognize that your mind processes both cognitively and emotionally, and therefore addressing both is the pathway to employing them as your ally in your pursuit of your desire to know and obey God is biblical.
FIGHT: In what ways will you fight for rest today?
What’s that thing popping into your mind and within your power that you can do?
When will you do it?
What difference will it make for you and for others when you do?
Who will you tell?
I hope you’ll join me next weeks as I get into ideas about our want for convenience and what that might have to do with our identity.
Please follow and comment on this podcast on apple podcasts and follow, comment on, and share our IG posts @MettlEdge.Coaching
I pray this podcast has been and continues to be a blessing.
interlinear Bible resource of Biblestudytools.com